Tanner Reviews The Bling Ring

The_Bling_Ring_posterSo this week I went to see a mediocre movie that is about the lives of terrible people… I could beat around the bush, but really what is the point? That is what it is. What else can I say? What is the point of this movie? Why make a movie about a bunch of thieves who steal for the rich and give to themselves for their own petty self-interest? The fact that this movie exists and brings more attention to these people just bugs me to no end… As far as the movie is concerned? Well like I said it is mediocre. It isn’t the worst thing that I have ever seen and I will give it this. At least it was slightly better than Spring Breakers. 

For those of you who do not pay attention to the tabloids and celebrity gossip (and if that is the case than you and I can be friends), The Bling Ring is the cinematic retelling of a group of teenagers who burglarized the homes of various female celebrities such as Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Audriana Patridge. (The debate on why these people are famous can be a discussion for another day). The movie follows this group of teenagers, later named by tabloid journalists as the Bling Ring and their various exploits that lead to their eventual arrest and conviction. The film shows several very popular moments during the trial process such as Neiers’ famous speech about wanting to be a World Leader and several moments displayed on Neiers’ reality television show Pretty Wild. 


There is an Enjoyable Gender Reversal

I did enjoy the fact that there was a very clear gender role reversal shown in the film as Rebecca is portrayed as a very strong and independent woman while the Marc comes of as very subservient to the women of the group. I enjoy the fact that there really wasn’t a romance in the film or really any male characters in the film with the exception of Marc. The girls of the film do come across as very competent, very smart thieves. Granted they got cocky which lead to their arrest… But still this film does a better job of making a feminist statement then a movie like Spring Breakers does.


Emma Watson’s Performances as ‘Nikki Moore’ or ‘Alexis Neiers’

It isn’t that Watson gives a ‘terrible’ performances as she does a decent job in portraying (in my opinion) a terrible person who is only out for her own self-interest. But at the same time it looks like she is in pain every time she is on scene and attempting to hide her British Accent. She did a pretty decent rendition of a Californian Valley Girl type of voice, but none of it felt organic. You could tell she was struggling to mask her British Accent and it becomes a big distraction every time that she is on-screen. Watson is a pretty decent actress, but in this one she just seems to be trying too hard for a film that doesn’t really merit it.


There are Bizarre Superfluous Scenes

So... I think I know how the marketing team got a few men into the audience.
So… I think I know how the marketing team got a few men into the audience.

There are several scenes that pop up that just make absolutely no sense why they are there. One of the first that comes to mind is a quick cut of Rebecca (Katie Chang) and Marc (Israel Boussard) planning to steal from parked cars on the street and instead of leaving it on the scene that they were on, it cuts to a 3 second clip of them walking outside before cutting straight to the street. It happens so fast that you are sitting there wondering why they would do this and this isn’t the first time it happens. There are several moments where a scene would hold on a picture for two seconds before jumping to the next scene. It is very distracting and takes the audience out of the film.

Then there is the scene where the Marc Character is smoking pot, singing songs, and acting… Odd? It was a very bizarre scene, didn’t make any sense, was very bizarre, and did nothing for the Marc character other than saying ‘hey Marc is weird.’ Which I do not think was the intent. But that is certainly the feeling that was expressed.

It is a Move About Terrible People Doing Terrible Things

Bottom line… This is just a film about terrible people doing terrible things. There is no real redemption for these characters. They steal shit and do drugs until they get caught and sent to jail. There is never a moment where any of them appear to have any problems with the morality of theft. Really this could almost be a spectacle because it is one of the few films I have seen that has no real arc from the characters. Nobody learns anything, nobody changes, and nobody has any moral objects to what they are doing. Sure Marc seems slightly sympathetic near the end of the film, but that is only after he is being sent to prison with a group of people who would love to see him wear those pink high heels.

The fact is that this is a story that really doesn’t need to be told. Bringing attention to this film just glamorizes these people and this behavior (which is brought up in the film. That I liked). And in a way, will encourage more people to steal from the rich and famous. Which others would say they deserve it, but I personally say that they do not deserves their peace of mind to be disturbed just so some girl can flaunt around an expensive purse and high heeled shoes.


This is just a film that shouldn’t have been made. It did the best it could with the source material. But really there is no real message in this film. It is a movie about a group of teenagers who steal for their own self-interest. There is no real arc and only serves to glamorize their own selfish activities. I see that this film was labeled as a satirical black comedy… But if that is the case then the film is even worse because it is definitely not funny in the slightest. The acting is decent but other then that their is just nothing to it and I cannot recommend it for anyone.

Final Score 1.5/5

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this review, please like and subscribe for more and remember to follow me on twitter @TannerReviews.

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