It has been the talk of the internet for the past week, the long running and much beloved television sitcom How I Met Your Mother has finally come to an end. After years of Saget monologues, relationship humor, countless memes, and running jokes the legen- wait for it… DARY show has run its last episode and my oh my what an episode it was. The internet has been a buzz proudly proclaiming that the finale… Sucked out loud. There have been some willing to defend the end of the long running sitcom, but for the most part the How I Met Your Mother finale has either been met with overwhelming disappointment or outright disdain. Where do I fall in this category? Well if you read the title of the article then you can take a few guesses as to what stance I am taking with the show’s end. I am a huge fan of the series, in my opinion it is a very fun and enjoyable sitcom that was a shining ray of light in the post Friends and Seinfeld era. It does follow the classic sit com formula. But it has a certain type of charisma and charm to it that sets it apart from the pack. The ending, in my opinion was absolutely horrendous and did not do a series as influential as How I Met Your Mother the justice it deserves. So seeing as how I run a website dedicated to tearing the art of moving pictures a pretty new asshole, I give to you the Reasons Why the How I Met Your Mother Finale Sucks!
NOTE: From this point on I will be giving copious amounts of spoilers. So in other words, do not read this list until you see the episode. You’ve been warned.
The Entire Build Up of the Season is Wiped Away in 10 Minutes
The ninth season of HIMYM was about the wedding of Barney and Robin and Ted finally meeting the mother of his two children, Tracy. That is it! It was a build up to one final event and with the fact that Barney and Robin divorce within 10 minutes of the finale and Tracy dies shortly afterwards feels like the final season is COMPLETELY POINTLESS! Why should we care about Ted meeting Tracy in the first place? Why should we care about this long and extravagant wedding between Barney and Robin? It is all completely erased within in the span of ten minutes so the show can end with Ted standing on Robin’s doorstep with that damn blue french horn.
Why should we, as fans care about Robin and Barney’s wedding when it only lasts three damn years before the break it off? The show outright insults us for dragging out a series for nine seasons on Ted finding the true love of his life only to have her die. We waited for nine seasons for him to meet this girl and within a few minutes they just snatched it away for a joke of an ending.
Nothing Changes… AT ALL!
I guess television show producers are terrified of straying away from anything that is not the tried and true television sit com formula. God forbid they attempt that or else the television show gods will smite them down for daring to play with their methods. Because of the ending with Tracy dying, Barney and Robin getting divorced, and Ted ending up on Robin’s doorstep with the damn blue french horn and Robin’s pack of dogs nothing has changed. Barney, Lilly, Marshall, Ted, and Robin have not changed in nine damn seasons. Granted there are some minor changes here and there, but after the show is over none of them learned a lesson or changed for the better.
Lilly and Marshall were never meant to change, they represent the stable relationship out of the group, so that I can let slide. But Ted, Barney, and Robin are still just as lost and hopeless as they were in the beginning of the series. Ted is still a hopeless romantic who is still hopelessly in love with Robin even after he was married to Tracy for several years and Robin is still living alone with commitment issues and her pack of dogs. Yes, Ted shows up on her damn doorstep with the blue french horn, but who is to say that that relationship is going to go anywhere?! Judging from the past episodes, Ted and Robin will end up together, date for a little while, and then break up again. Why should anything change from what we have seen before? It shouldn’t! It has been well established that they have no worked out multiple times in the past. It shouldn’t change just because they are now in their late forties and gone through a divorce and the death of a spouse!
Then there is Barney Stinson. With the ending the way it is, Barney Stinson is nothing more than a pervert. His change is MINIMAL AT BEST! After the divorce he goes for a perfect month! A perfect fucking month where he sleeps with a different woman each day at the age of 45. At the end of it all, he gets ‘Number 31’ pregnant and has a daughter. Yes! Barney does have a scene where he gives a heart warming speech to his daughter! Yes! There is a scene soon following where he chastises a couple of young girls at a bar for doing shots early in the day! Does this change the fact that he is a 45-year-old pervert?! Hell no! We never learn ‘number 31’s’ name so it is clear that he never ends up with her. As a matter of fact, why should we give a shit?! It is clear that Barney doesn’t since he doesn’t know the name of the MOTHER OF HIS CHILD even when the baby is in the process of emerging from her vagina! Even though he has the speech to those girls at the bar, it still doesn’t change the fact that he is a suit wearing, smooth talking guy who cannot commit to anything except for his daughter and the fact that he does commit to his daughter only makes the Barney Stinson character slightly higher than absolute human garbage.
If Barney were to marry Robin and stay married at the shows conclusion then it offers real conclusion and change within their characters. Barney and Robin learns to commit to someone and give up his bachelor life style/learn that you can commit to your job and someone else, you don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. If Ted were to stay with Tracy then he finally meets the true love of his life, has kids, and they live happily ever after. With the ending given to us, Barney is still a bachelor. Just a bachelor with a baby with only slightly higher morals than he held before. Ted and Robin still have no conclusion and it is left open if they will ever finally end up with a happy and fulfilling life.
The Show Itself Feels Pointless
At the end of it all, why should we give a shit about the show now?! The entire shows premise was about meeting the mother of Ted’s children and his quest for true love. You give us that and then you kill it within the span of a few episodes. At the end, Ted and Robin end up ambiguously together, Marshall and Lilly stay together, and Barney is still an unmarried bachelor just like at the beginning of the damn show. Why should I care anymore? Why should I watch the show anymore whenever it is clear that these people never change or end up with any real conclusion with the exception of Marshall and Lilly?
I feel like with this ending, it is nothing more than a handful of memes, running gags, and a big old waste of my time. Ted never found his true love, Barney never changed, Robin never changed. I guess what I should get from this show is that people do not change or better themselves in any way. They will always end up being the same sad people that they have been for years. Congrats HIMYM, you took what could have been a timeless classic of a show and made it completely pointless.
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