Tanner’s Top 10 Guilty Pleasures

Guilty pleasures… We all have them. It is just a fact of life, no matter how refined our tastes are for certain media we will never escape the fact that there are some movies, television shows, anime, books, and so on and so forth that we KNOW for a fact are absolute steaming piles of shit… But for whatever reason whether it be nostalgia, a certain performance, or just the fact that it is so bad that it is wonderful we just cannot stop watching them. Anybody who says that they do not have a guilty pleasure is either A) too embarrassed to admit to their guilty pleasure or B) lying to themselves saying that it is actually good to make themselves feel better about liking something that is terrible. It is just a fact of life and I am absolutely no exception. I freely admit that I have a long list of guilty pleasures that I thoroughly enjoy watching and have no problem sharing them with you right now in my Top Ten Guilty Pleasures!

Keep in mind, the way that this Top 10 list will be ranked is by the level of badness of the movie + shame that I feel for liking them. Also keep in mind that this is my own personal list. If you would like to share your opinions then please do so, I would absolutely love to hear it. Also if you do not think these movies are bad, please share them. I would love to debate. But make no mistake, if a movie appears on this list, it is in this critics opinion that technically they are absolutely terrible movies, but at the same time I absolutely love them! So let’s get started with some honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions
Moulin Rouge
Pokemon the First Movie

A_night_at_the_roxbury10. Night at the Roxbury

You will quickly find that the reason a lot of these movies have made it onto this list will be either because of nostalgic childhood love or do large in part to my family. On this one, it is a bit of both. I have quickly learned that I just cannot stand Will Ferrell and anything that the man has done. I just do not find his humor funny and that goes for the vast majority of films that the man has done. Night at the Roxbury is one of his earliest and one that receives some of the most derision from critics some even saying it is one of the worst films ever made. It also fits into the horrid cesspool of Saturday Night Live skits turned movies that only movies like The Blues Brothers were able to escape from.

That being said, Night at the Roxbury remains a soft spot in my heart for one real reason. Whenever I was a child my cousin Brett and I would watch this movie over and over again and then listen to Haddaway’s What is Love while doing the head nodding that the skit was famous, for hours at a time. It is a fond childhood memory and I have this movie and SNL skit to thank for its existence. While it is VERY hard for me to watch it nowadays, I can sometimes stomach a few scenes just for the sake of nostalgia.

The_Langoliers_(TV_miniseries)9. Most Stephen King Mini Series

Oh Stephen King. I really do love your work, I do! But man oh man you got to work with the people who turn your stuff into movies. In particular your mini series. Yes, The Stand and The Shining were good (though I know you would disagree with me on the latter) but man those mini series have been pretty bad. None the less, at least they are bad on the level of laugh out loud good times.

Stephen King mini series like It and The Langoliers are pretty laughably bad for several reasons. Some might be because of the hokey acting/writing, Tim Curry just deciding to give up and have a damn good time, or the fact that some are a testament to how far CGI has come over the years. But for one reason or another, the majority of the Stephen King mini series have been pretty terrible. But with the exception of Under the Dome which is just horrendously terrible no matter how many ways you look at it, the rest of them I can at least get some enjoyment out of.

Twistermovieposter8. Twister

I reviewed Twister about a year ago, so if you want to see my full review and opinions on it, please go to the link and give it a read. Because of that, I will not get into a lengthy discussion on the movie. What I will say is this, a mix of heart pounding action and a large dose of Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, and Philip Seymour Hoffman is enough to keep me coming back to this movie for a watch… Even though the tornado roars!

JP27. Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World

Oh my yes… The sequel to Jurassic Park featuring much less of the whimsical and a lot more of the Jeff Goldblum. The Lost World: Jurassic Park is just one of those guilty pleasures that you can watch for all the wrong reasons. The acting is wrong, the cast is wrong, the sets are wrong, just about everything in this movie is wrong… And yet… It is so wrong that it becomes wonderful. There is not much more to say from that. It is a bad movie, but I can always watch it to see Jeff Goldblum “Jeff Goldblum” the movie and a young Vince Vaughn in a more very rare serious role.

Debbiedoesdallas6. Debbie Does Dallas

Like with Twister, I have already reviewed this movie so I will not get into too much length on a synopsis with the movie. What I will say is this, yes it is a porno, yes the acting is Z Grade terrible, and the subject material is a little racy. However, this movie is still absolutely hilarious. If you want to watch a movie just for a good laugh then watch Debbie Does Dallas. It is one of those movies (and I know this will sound weird) that you should invite a couple of friends together, put it on, open a couple of beers, and give it a watch.

Happygilmoreposter5. Happy Gilmore

I hate 90% of all Adam Sandler movies. That is just a fact. I cannot stand the ‘Adam Sandler School of Humor’. I cannot stand the crude jokes or his obscene collection of frat boy friends who help him with all his Happy Madison Productions. I can’t stand his goofy fucking voice and I hate how he refuses to let a scene happen with out a damn shit joke being told in between. There are a few movies I find him redeemable in but they are very few and far between.

This movie, Happy Gilmore; however, is one of if not THE most nostalgic for me. A lot of my extended family enjoys golfing and it has always been apart of the family. During the day time at family get-togethers, everyone goes out on the links, drinks beer, and plays golf. Then everyone returns from the golf course and continues to drink beer; good family tradition. So when Happy Gilmore came out in the 90’s my family absolutely loved it. I remember as a kid all of us sitting around and watching Happy Gilmore on the television and rewinding it over and over again on the scene where Sandler’s character hits the a family with a couple of well placed golf shots. It is another fond memory and every time I see Happy Gilmore all I can think of is my family and their golf obsession.

Mystery_Men_film_poster4. Mystery Men

This movie is just one big pile of ham, eggs, and cheese and I am going to let the amazing coronary that that dish is kill me. I love watching Mystery Men. It is probably the film that is one of the worst on the list, but I have no problem admitting that I like. Featuring William H Macy and his extremely dry humor, the always enjoyable humor of Ben Stiller, the most 90’s person in existence Janene Garafolo, and a young Kel Mitchell this film is always a favorite of mine. It is one of the best underdog movies out there and one that took a fun jab at the eccentricity of superhero movies at the time like the appalling flop Batman and Robin before it was popular to do so (hipster levels increasing). Either way, it is one that I will always be willing to give a watch and defend.

Titan_AE_One_Sheet3. Titan AE

The last movie in the long and extended career of famous animator and director Don Bluth. The man who is often considered to be the Hayao Miyazaki of the west, Don Bluth is one of the most influential animators of the 20th century and the man who helped bring the art of animation back into the forefront of the film industry. His works on The Secret of NIMH and The Land Before Time are legendary and some of the greatest animated movies ever created.

It is rather tragic that his last directing work falls to a movie that was so underwhelming in its attempt to create a grand universe that it is hard to find anything nice to say about it, Titan AE. It is even more tragic when you hear of all the ideas that Bluth had for the series that tragically got lost on the cutting room floor. But make no mistake about it, this movie is terribly written and features some pretty underwhelming voice acting. Not to mention I just cannot take Nathan Lane seriously as a foppish fruit bat villain (No offense Nathan, I love your work in just about everything else). What keeps me coming back for more is the animation and hard work that Bluth has been known for not to mention thinking of the ‘what could have been’ and if Bluth was able to put everything that he wanted to into the movie.

Alien_Resurrection_poster2. Alien Resurrection

On the Nerdiest Talk Show on Earth, Brandon and I discussed our most hated movies of all time. On this list, I included the film Alien 3 as one of my most hated films of all time, I discussed the fact that Aliens: Colonial Marines was one of the worst video games that I have ever played and that I do not like to think of any of the movies past Aliens as a part of the Aliens mythos. But even with all of that, I cannot help but watch and enjoy Alien Resurrection. 

I don’t even know why, it isn’t like it is a great movie. It is a pretty shitty slasher flick dressed up as an Aliens franchise with Sigourney Weaver acting at her worst, Winona Ryder’s whiny voice, and a young Ron Perlman chewing scenery with his dirty ugly mug. But I still watch it and get some level of enjoyment out of it that I got from Alien and Aliens. Maybe it is because Alien 3 was so horrendous that it was impossibility for them to sink any lower. I’m not sure. But either way, this is one that I am really unsure of why I like to watch it… But the fact is that I do.

Armageddon-poster061. Armageddon

Oh dear God the shame! THE SHAME! I actually like watching a Michael Bay movie! Go ahead, put me down! PUT ME DOWN! Seriously though this movie does need to be number one on this list. Not only is it on a technical level in the areas of writing and one of the worst on this list, but also it was one of the movies that made Michael Bay into the abomination of a movie director that he is today. But even so, I just cannot stop watching it.

I know it is shitty, I know that it is about a bunch of rednecks trying to save the earth from an asteroid, I know the laws of common sense are casually buttfucked for the shake of flashy flashy lights and silly goofy humor. But damn it I can watch it over and over again. Maybe it is the fact that actors like Steve Buscemi, Will Patton, Michael Clarke Duncan, and Bruce Willis just goofing around on camera. Maybe it is the fact that there is parts of the movie that attempt to take itself seriously and utterly fail. Maybe it was because when this movie came out I was the tender age of nine and just loved to see things blow up. It probably is a culmination of all of these things. But one thing is for sure, I can watch Armageddon over and over again and never get tired of it. As my criticism has matured over the years I find myself picking out more and more problems with it and still coming back for more. It may be the one movie that I am most ashamed to admit that I like, but damn it I will wear that patch with a badge of honor.

Thank you for reading and as always if you enjoyed this list then please like and subscribe for more from me and of course go visit my other site The Nerd Realm for more from me as well as my associates Shaila Meeker and Brandon Lias.

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