The Stars and Busts of Pokemon Go


Pokemon_GoI promise that this is going to be the last Pokemon Go article! I know, I have become a bit of a fanboy these past couple of days over the mobile game. But I truly do love the experience and there is plenty to write and to talk about. So I decided today to make a little list of the 151 Pokemon condensed into six categories and rank them based on whether or not they have been awesome stars of the game… or if they are destined to dwell in your Pokemon box for the rest of forever until you transfer them. This is the Stars and Busts of Pokemon Go.

Now, please keep in mind, that I am using this as a blanket term but there are certainly exceptions in this world. If you have a level 2343853 Nidoking and I say Nidokings, on the whole, are not great, your one awesome Nidoking does not necessarily throw off the curve. This is an observation of the game on the whole. With that said, let’s get started.

Neither: The Legendaries

I would feel slightly amiss if I didn’t include the Legendaries on this list. Right now, they do not exist until the game releases them. As such, I obviously cannot judge them. So here is a quick “I’m not including them” in the other five categories.

Star: Two Stage Evolutionsimages

These fuckers are such value. We will get into the failings of three stage evolutions in a second, but when it comes to evolving, you need to stock up on those who only evolve once and call it a day. These are the ones that you can see leading a lot of gyms along with the non evolutions. Local common Pokemon, like Clefable and Hypno for me, Dodrio for others, and Seadras for around the coast only cost 50 candies to evolve into the next stage which is much better than the 125 option on the other three tiered side. You tend to be able to level your strongest catch making them level along with you and because of their low cost, high reward, make them one of the best deals in the game as far power is concerned.

Bust: Three Stage Evolutions

While two stage evolutions are great, three stage evolutions suck major dick. While you can keep catching Pokemon like Drowzee, building up to 50 candies, and eventually evolving your strongest, three stage evolutions add a whole other level of tediousness to them by having you need, typically, 125 candies in order to get from one evolution to the other.

While they may be slightly more powerful, if you only get three candies per capture, this means you are going to be spending the next couple of weeks hunting down and hoping that Oddish and Nidorans are common in your area. If the Pokemon is not common, like for me with Machop, then evolving them in any stage is nothing more than a fantasy. 125 candies is insanely expensive for evolving some of these Pokemon and tragically, it does devalue the “strength” of some of these triple evolutions as a result. Hence the reason why you are much more likely to see a Snorlax, Vaporeon, Dodrio, Clefable, and so forth leading a gym and not Machamp, Golem, or Alakazam.

Star: Non Evolution Pokemon

You know what is awesome? Catching a Pokemon that does not need any evolution and is already ranked to your level. Then you can spend candies and star dust to make them stronger instead of worrying about how to evolve them. A Pokemon without evolution is one of the best things that could happen to this game.

I’m not saying evolution is hard or tedious. But what I am is that evolution creates a chore that sometimes isn’t worth the time you put into it. Even if you save all your candies until you have 50 or 125 candies to go through the evolution tree, there is no real guarantee that your high level Nidoran will be an exceptional Nidoqueen at the end of the day. At least when you get a Scyther that Scyther is more than likely going to be good to go and if not you can spend all the candies making its power stronger.

Bust: The Starting Three Pokemon and there Evolutions

Sigh… The starting Pokemon suck in this game. Not only that, but the first Pokemon you catch out of the three also are nothing to write home to mom about. They are completely inconsequential. In the games by GameFreak, starting Pokemon become your companions and more often than not, become your strongest Pokemon throughout the game. In this game, you get a low leveled Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle that will probably only be held on to for sentimental reasons if you are a sentimental chump like me.

But let’s just say that you are just looking to evolve those lil guys into a Blastoise, Venusaur, or Charizard. Well sucks to suck friend, because all three of them are uncommon. They rarely pop up unless you are in an area that is specifically geared towards fire, water, or grass types. Even then, you might not see them around. I live near grassy areas and I have only seen one Bulbasaur. The other two I hatched from eggs. I have caught a total of three Squirtle, and my starting Charmander is the only Charmander I have seen in game. Out of all of the gyms I have seen, I have only seen a single Ivysaur go into it. For the starting three Pokemon and the iconic Pokemon that they are, these three really do get the shaft for Pokemon Go.

downloadStar: The Eeveelutions

The true MVPs of Pokemon Go are, without a doubt, Eevee and the Eeveelutions of Flareon, Jolteon, and Vaporeon. They are like this amazing combination of all things grand to make them some of the most powerful and abundant Pokemon in the game.

First off, Eevee is a two stage evolution, meaning you skip that nasty three step stage. Second, Eevee is somewhat common. I know this isn’t true for everywhere, but I tend to catch eight Eevee a day where I am from and the numbers seems to be the same in a few other places. Eevee, being a common normal type Pokemon can be found just about anywhere. Third and most important, Eevee only takes 25 Eevee candies to evolve. While other Pokemon, like Zubat, Parasect, Krabby, and so forth, cost 50 candies to evolve into their larger forms, you can evolve an Eevee in half that time with a potentially stronger Pokemon! That is a mother fucking bargain!

The stats alone are a bargain! Not to mention there is the added fun to seeing the random evolution generation… Well that isn’t attempted through the name change evolution trick. With a small evolution cost, abundance in Eevee, and only requiring two stages for evolution, it is clear to see that Eevee and the Eeveelutions are the biggest stars of Pokemon Go.

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