Tanner Reviews Please Don’t Touch Anything

downloadThis was… Interesting? I guess that is a good word for it. It certainly wasn’t a terrible experience. It was short and just kind of… there, I suppose. Please Don’t Touch Anything is one of the more experimental indie games out there on the market that attempts to challenge the preconceived notions of a video game to build a somewhat simplistic but enjoyable video game experience. Basically, you take on the role of person X who is watching a control panel for his friend who just went to the bathroom. Your job is to not touch anything. However, that would defeat the whole purpose of the game… So you start touching things. This could lead to a whole series of wacky events.


Intense Problem Solving

The entire crux of this game is problem solving. You are sat stationary in front of a screen with a big red button and a set of various materials. Each step leads you to the next step and so on. You have to use some rather complex problem solving in order to figure out what to do and where to go next. As you progress, each of the problem solving techniques gets a little more cheeky and give cultural references to shows like Futurama as well as the hacking community, Anonymous.

It becomes a strange sort of “gotta get all the endings” style of game where you keep trying different combinations and different methods to see where you end up at the end of your journey of  being a little rebel who had to press the little red button.


The Mountain Problem

Now… I’m not necessarily saying that this game is on the level of pretentious bullshit that Mountain found itself at, but I do label it in the same category of “not a video game.” At least in the purest of senses, it is a video game, unlike Mountain. It does offer you a set of structured challenges and mind solving techniques in order to reach your eventual goal with a modest pay off.

However, the problem I take with this game is the fact that I have done puzzles like this… In other games… Complete games… Games in which this entire game is just a mini game to the game on the whole. Unlike Mountain, Please, Don’t Touch Anything is a game by definition. But it is also a cautionary tale of where we are going as a gaming community. Will this become more and more the norm on Steam? Where we are willing to shell out $1.99 for a little mini game in which we press a red button and see what happens next? I’ll leave that for you to decide.


Please, Don’t Touch Anything is a quick and dirty playthrough. It can be a fun mini game, but it is essentially snack food video games where you consume it quickly and forget about it two hours later. If you want to burn a little money to play it go ahead, but it isn’t breaking new ground.

Final Score 2/5

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