I FINALLY got back to the movie theater. While I plan to go to see Alien: Covenant this week since I am a glutton for punishment and watching everything I love die, I did get a chance to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, so that makes me happy. What more can really be said about Guardians of the Galaxy at this point? It is easily the best franchise in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and I will challenge anyone that says otherwise. The story is great, the chemistry is there, and overall it is just an amazing movie. Vol 2 does have a few problems with it on a minuscule level. More importantly the comedy and competing with the first movie which was more than likely the best in the franchise. But overall, it was a fun experience.
The movie is a much more quiet movie compared to the first one is much more of an introspection on a number of characters in the franchise. In the movie, we learn of Starlord’s (Chris Pratt) father and a lot of his past. Continue reading →
Man has it been a while! With me finishing my Master’s and working on Crit or Miss, I haven’t had a lot of time to see any movies of 2017. Luckily for me, this one dropped into my fucking lap from the internet. As you all will know, Brad Jones was something of an inspiration for me, as far as movie reviews are concerned, so I try to see as many of his movies as possible. I reviewed The Cinema Snob Movie a while back and now I get to watch the Christian exploitation spoof movie, Jesus, Bro! While this movie certainly isn’t one of the Ryan Mitchelle and by extension Brad Jones’ best, it is certainly still an excellent movie well worth the money spent.
Jesus, Bro! is the story of an angry YouTube celebrity and atheist Rick Whitehead (Dave Gobble). After a traumatic event in his childhood, Rick has evolved into the Rickhead who is a satire of the way contemporary christian movies portray atheists. After a drunken experience with some “holy beer” and his girlfriend Elizabeth Howard Grace (Allison Pregler) leaving him, Rick meets “Santa Christ” (Rob Walker) who convinces him to convert his followers to Christianity in order to get Elizabeth back. The movie focuses on Rick as he attempts to convert his stalwart atheist followers into Christians. Continue reading →
You know, I still do film reviews on this site. It has been a mixed bag of a year considering that I have been putting a lot of my attention on my academics and the new video series Crit or Miss (WHICH YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO TO YOUTUBE TO SUBSCRIBE TO AND WATCH ALL THE VIDEOS!!!!!!). But I am still here to review some movies. Tragically I haven’t had much of a shot to get to the movies so the reviews have been lacking a little. But fear not! I will be returning to the big screen soon! But for now, let’s check out one that I had to watch on my tiny ass flat screen, The Bye Bye Man. Boy… Was this one an absolute pain in my ass… Continue reading →
So my apologies. It was my intention to start my 2017 reviews in a video style format. But low and behold I run into some problems. So we will have that to look forward to in a few a bit. But today… HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS MOVIE IS ONE OF THE BEST GODDAMN MOVIES HORROR MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! I am sorry, that isn’t incredibly professional of me, but I have to gush. It is rare that I see a movie at this time of year that is easily one of the best movies that I have ever seen, let alone great movies of 2017. The writing, the directing, the acting, the concept, the subtlety, every last piece of it has come together to make what can only be called, a perfect movie! Yeah, I said it! Fight me!
Get Out is the story of a young couple named Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose (Allison Williams). The couple are about to go meet Rose’s family for the first time since they started dating four months ago. When Chris arrives, he is introduced to Rose’s family Dean (Bradley Whitford), Missy (Catherine Keener), and Rose’s brother Jeremy (Caleb Landry Jones). Once there, Chris instantly becomes uneasy with the family. Not only with their clearly covert racism but from the reaction of the Armitage’s family’s servants Georgina (Betty Gabriel) and Walter (Marcus Henderson). Things go from bad to worse when Chris is hypnotized by Rose’s mother and rapidly things go from bad to worse before Chris realizes that he is in serious trouble. Continue reading →
How in the hell did this movie stay so far off of my radar? Seriously! This thing screams cheesy romance. It has the perfect blend of Meg Ryan, random male star du jour, and a silly plot based on a contrived premise. Why did it take me, neigh, three years to actually tackle this thing? Well, I guess since this month is dedicated to typically cheerful comedies, City of Angels tends to sometimes get passed over. This thing has been a long time coming so let’s tear into this piece of shit!
In its most base form, City of Angels is the story of Nicolas Cage’s character, Seth. He is an angel that wants to denounce his angelic ways in order to have sex with Meg Ryan’s character, Dr. Maggie Rice. That is really about it. I mean, sure, the movie likes to pretend that it has some overarching plot about the frailty of life and the acceptance of death, but in truth, this is just a movie about an angel giving up his wings in order to get a little action before his love interest is killed by the plot contrivance truck. Continue reading →
So yeah… My life has gotten insanely busy recently and tragically I ran out of time to write a full review for this one. So I apologize for this one. But all things considered, you aren’t really missing much. This is the 1990’s when shallow remakes of classic literature reigned supreme. As such, Cruel Intentions may very well be the worst of them all. A story about an upper class kids being assholes to one another, the movie is downright unwatchable even when you are one of the people who are the target demographic. It is no wonder that this movie has quickly been lost to the sands of time. Continue reading →
… It’s back!!! It is that special month of love and as such, it is time to talk about those silly little rom-coms that I save up for such an occasion. Welcome back to year 4 of Cheesy Romance Month! All things considered, I am surprised that I have not talked more about Meg Ryan movies. All things considered, she is the queen of the cheesy romantic comedy, and yet, the only one I touched so far was You’ve Got Mail and that was the first one that I ever did years ago. Granted, I did start at the bottom of the barrel as far as these movies are concerned… But fuck it. Why not walk across the street to You’ve Got Mail’s wacky neighbor, Kate & Leopold.Continue reading →