Tag: 2016 movie

Tanner Reviews The 5th Wave

5th-Wave_poster2016 sucks… Of course I miss movies like Hardcore Henry, of course I miss movies like Zootopia. I, instead, get left with the festering piles of crap that I bring all the hate filled bile to the forefront of my mind. I have seen two movies that are worth while this year and the rest have either been trash or at best forgettable. I need a good movie from 2016. Just to prove that there is something left in the tank. Please, if you are out there, send Zootopia. I want that movie! I NEED to see that movie! Just to prove that their is a cinema god out there and that he doesn’t hate me.

I cannot think to write a full review for this movie because this movie doesn’t deserve a full review. It isn’t because it is so horrendous that I cannot write, it is because it is moderately horrendous mixed in with the right amount of forgettable “seen it before” crap that it is fading from my memory even as I write these words. It is my hope that I can get this review written before I completely forget about it. I mean, I should have known. The January movies are quietly being released to the five people who actually wanted to watch them again so I can continue to pick the bones of their carcasses. Either way, let’s get this shit over with. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews The 5th Wave”

Tanner Reviews Ratchet and Clank (2016 Video Game)

Ratchet_and_Clank_coverThis has not been a good year for the Ratchet & Clank franchise. First, they watch as their movie bombs at the box office and with critics as well. To add insult to injury, their video game that was meant to reboot the franchise is nothing to write home to mother about as well. Of course, the thing is getting at least 8/10 for every video game outlet because most video game criticism sucks the dicks of producers and developers alike, but I cannot simply walk away saying anything positive about one of the most forgettable gaming experiences in recent history.

In this reboot of the classic series, Ratchet and his robot buddy Clank have to free the universe from a nefarious space captain. They travel from planet to planet, fighting baddies with a multitude of different goofy guns and collecting obscene amounts of omnipresent coins that fly at you at every second of the damn game. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews Ratchet and Clank (2016 Video Game)”