How in the hell did this movie stay so far off of my radar? Seriously! This thing screams cheesy romance. It has the perfect blend of Meg Ryan, random male star du jour, and a silly plot based on a contrived premise. Why did it take me, neigh, three years to actually tackle this thing? Well, I guess since this month is dedicated to typically cheerful comedies, City of Angels tends to sometimes get passed over. This thing has been a long time coming so let’s tear into this piece of shit!
In its most base form, City of Angels is the story of Nicolas Cage’s character, Seth. He is an angel that wants to denounce his angelic ways in order to have sex with Meg Ryan’s character, Dr. Maggie Rice. That is really about it. I mean, sure, the movie likes to pretend that it has some overarching plot about the frailty of life and the acceptance of death, but in truth, this is just a movie about an angel giving up his wings in order to get a little action before his love interest is killed by the plot contrivance truck. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: City of Angels”
So yeah… My life has gotten insanely busy recently and tragically I ran out of time to write a full review for this one. So I apologize for this one. But all things considered, you aren’t really missing much. This is the 1990’s when shallow remakes of classic literature reigned supreme. As such, Cruel Intentions may very well be the worst of them all. A story about an upper class kids being assholes to one another, the movie is downright unwatchable even when you are one of the people who are the target demographic. It is no wonder that this movie has quickly been lost to the sands of time. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: Mini Review: Cruel Intentions”
… It’s back!!! It is that special month of love and as such, it is time to talk about those silly little rom-coms that I save up for such an occasion. Welcome back to year 4 of Cheesy Romance Month! All things considered, I am surprised that I have not talked more about Meg Ryan movies. All things considered, she is the queen of the cheesy romantic comedy, and yet, the only one I touched so far was You’ve Got Mail and that was the first one that I ever did years ago. Granted, I did start at the bottom of the barrel as far as these movies are concerned… But fuck it. Why not walk across the street to You’ve Got Mail’s wacky neighbor, Kate & Leopold. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: Kate & Leopold”
Okay… I want to stress that watching this movie was a fucking chore for me. Not so much for the movie itself. But because, due to my busy schedule, I was unable to get to the movies before it went out of theaters so in order for me to watch the damn thing, I had to watch a bootlegged Spanish version of the movie and then find a transcript of the movie on the internet. The lengths that I went to get this fucking thing are absolutely mind boggling. The fact that this movie did very little for me didn’t help either. I will stress that this may be because I had to watch a bootlegged spanish version on the internet has something to do with it. But ultimately, even if this was in pristine HD English, I feel I would have still walked away with a similar experience.
You see… I’m just not a big fan of Seth Grahame Smith, his writing, or his stories. I find both Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter to be little more than eye catching stories that are fun merely through novelty. While I do admit that I have not read the book, I did watch Dark Shadows and the movie version of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and what I got from both of those is that the script was utter garbage. Luckily, the producers behind this movie realized this and got Burr Steers (who I swear to god is probably a male stripper from Reno) to handle the screen writing. Ultimately, I was happy to see that P&P&Z was more than just garter belt wearing women slaughtering zombies. But what I got was still a slightly satisfying watch. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: Pride & Prejudice & Zombies”
Every year, I have to review at least one of these cheesy romance movies that just makes me hurt all over. I don’t know what I was expecting from this one. I guess Netflix deemed that I had to give up a solid bit of one of my days to sit through the Brittney Spears vanity project only slightly less prepackaged trite compared to Mariah Carey’s Glitter. On that note, I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I didn’t have to sit through Glitter… Small victories… Small victories. Either way, let’s talk about the lovely little gem that I queued up for myself. I am quite happy that Hollywood has gotten away from the concept of turning a pop artist into a movie star. I guess after From Justin to Kelly, Glitter, and this fiasco, they have realized that just because someone is talented in one field, doesn’t necessarily mean that they are going to be an instant success in the movie industry. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: Crossroads”
It is time to continue Cheesy Romance Month with one of the weirdest and strangely best movies that Adam Sandler can claim in his infamous oeuvre. I do love this movie… Not necessarily for the fact that it is a good movie, but it is the movie that you can see the Adam Sandler tax shelter beginning to form… But still some vestiges of good movie making leaking into Sandler’s vacation and no fucks given mentality. Most of the elements are there. The movie is, for no apparent reason, set in Hawaii, the movie features a lot of his friends and his, at the time, wife Barrymore, and a lot of the script can be summed up as Sandler throwing a bunch of jokes together to see what will get a laugh from people from the ages of 3-16. However, a lot of these factors are downplayed for the sake of a decent concept and an okay movie blossoms as a result of it.
A veterinarian named Henry Roth (Adam Sandler) is a womanizer and all around love ’em and leave ’em ball of sleaze who seduces women through various unbelievable disguises who comes to Hawaii for a vacation and a week of inhibitions. One day, after his boat takes on some damage, Henry finds himself in a diner on a part of the island that he is not familiar with and meets a young woman named Lucy (Drew Barrymore) who is building a house made out of waffles. Henry and Lucy instantly bond, but things do not turn out too well when Henry learns that Lucy was in a terrible car accident and lost her short term memory. Because of this, after 24 hours Lucy forgets everything about the day and is thus forced to relive the same day over and over and over again. Henry, however, is not deterred by this fact and does everything in his power to get Lucy to fall in love with him each day. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: 50 First Dates”
Guess what month it is?! One of my favorite months of the year! It is the month of February! It is the month when love is in the air… The cold air… The freezing cold air of a desolate winter wasteland… Well okay this winter has been somewhat balmy but that doesn’t exactly work for the joke so work with me here! Either way… It is now time for year three of Cheesy Romance Month! It is that time of the month where I dedicate the Tuesdays of my reviews to some of the cheesiest romantic comedies to ever exist! Last year we went through Adventureland, She’s All That, and I finished with Fifty Shades of Grey. NOW is the time we get into some more of the classics… ‘classics’… Okay so we will be looking at, in the words of Jack Black, over sentimental tacky crap. So today, let’s talk about High Fidelity. Continue reading “Cheesy Romance Month: High Fidelity”