Tag: Mini Review

Tanner Reviews Please Don’t Touch Anything

downloadThis was… Interesting? I guess that is a good word for it. It certainly wasn’t a terrible experience. It was short and just kind of… there, I suppose. Please Don’t Touch Anything is one of the more experimental indie games out there on the market that attempts to challenge the preconceived notions of a video game to build a somewhat simplistic but enjoyable video game experience. Basically, you take on the role of person X who is watching a control panel for his friend who just went to the bathroom. Your job is to not touch anything. However, that would defeat the whole purpose of the game… So you start touching things. This could lead to a whole series of wacky events. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews Please Don’t Touch Anything”

Mini Review: Far Cry Primal

Far_Cry_Primal_cover_artOnce more, I find myself running short on time and once more, I decided to suffice this by watching a some YouTube videos of a video game that was released and give my quick and dirty opinions on it for the world to read. For most of you out there who do not know, I’m not a big fan of Far Cry. I was not a fan of Far Cry 3 making me the only sod on this planet that had a problem with the game. Far Cry 4 was just an updated version of 3, in my opinion, and as such needed to sit in the same room and think about what it did. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is just my relationship with Ubisoft now. They are just going to keep releasing shit that I do not like and over saturate the market with it until once in a blue moon Far Cry Blood Dragon or Assassin’s Creed Black Flag shows up to make my life an easier place. So when it came to my thoughts on Far Cry Primal, my thoughts were “boring” and “the same old fucking thing.” Continue reading “Mini Review: Far Cry Primal”

Mini Review: Homefront the Revolution

Homefront,_The_Revolution_logoWell this was a waste of time. For those of you unaware, I had to make a trip out of town this weekend and as such I did not get a chance to churn out a great idea for a post. So basically, I decided to spend a few hours watching a video game on YouTube and giving my general thoughts on it for your reading pleasure. So… I decided to watch one of the newest games to come out, Homefront the Revolution… Well I wasted two hours of my life that I will never get back. I’ll be honest here, this seems like one of the most pointless sequels that I have ever seen. I cannot think of a single person who was asking for this game. Even fans of the quickly dying realistic FPS genre didn’t like the first game which was also a piece of shit. But here we are… starring at a reimagining of the original game and just from my personal experience, I truly hope the makers of this game at least got their money back just so it wasn’t a complete waste of their time as well. Continue reading “Mini Review: Homefront the Revolution”

Tanner Reviews The 5th Wave

5th-Wave_poster2016 sucks… Of course I miss movies like Hardcore Henry, of course I miss movies like Zootopia. I, instead, get left with the festering piles of crap that I bring all the hate filled bile to the forefront of my mind. I have seen two movies that are worth while this year and the rest have either been trash or at best forgettable. I need a good movie from 2016. Just to prove that there is something left in the tank. Please, if you are out there, send Zootopia. I want that movie! I NEED to see that movie! Just to prove that their is a cinema god out there and that he doesn’t hate me.

I cannot think to write a full review for this movie because this movie doesn’t deserve a full review. It isn’t because it is so horrendous that I cannot write, it is because it is moderately horrendous mixed in with the right amount of forgettable “seen it before” crap that it is fading from my memory even as I write these words. It is my hope that I can get this review written before I completely forget about it. I mean, I should have known. The January movies are quietly being released to the five people who actually wanted to watch them again so I can continue to pick the bones of their carcasses. Either way, let’s get this shit over with. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews The 5th Wave”

Mini Review: Tusk

Tusk_(2014_film)_posterSo once again, I find myself overloaded with work, so I have decided to give another mini review of a movie I have seen recently. In this case, it is Kevin Smith’s body horror movie known as Tusk. It is a dark horror comedy starring Justin Long as a podcast host who is captured by a man who intends to turn him into a walrus. That is pretty much the extent of it. This is the first of a three part movie known as the True North Trilogy which basically feature horror movies from Canada. The other two include Yoga Hosers and Moose Jaws.

Conclusion

Overall, the movie is pretty good. It is certainly funny with a delightful blend of terror thrown in there. You feel for the characters and Johnny Depp’s appearance as Guy LaPointe is spot on. It is a fun horror movie and its pros definitely outweigh its few cons.

Final Score: 3.5/5

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