Tag: Terrible Film

Tanner Reviews Spring Breakers

Spring_Breakers_posterI think we have all had this moment at least once in our lives. That moment when you just absolutely hate a film and yet everyone around you loves it. I had the exact same feeling watching Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. When I saw it and the credits rolled and I heard people actually fucking applauding that movie… The rage boiled inside of me. But then I found solace knowing that not everyone liked it, there were critics out there that hated the movie just as much as I did and I was happy to know that someone shared my opinion on the matter… But when a film comes out that is loved by critics, movie watchers, and so forth and you as a viewer absolutely detest the film to the point where you are sitting there yelling ‘What the fuck is wrong with the world?!’ That… That is a whole other level of annoyance. Granted, this thing has a 63 on Metacritic and received mixed to positive reviews, but Jesus Christ this thing should honestly be ranked around a 20’s or 30’s range by far! I have always said it, regardless of how I feel about a movie or a game or whatever. If you like something, that is fine! Enjoy it, don’t let me stop you… But man this one fucking blows. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews Spring Breakers”

Tanner Reviews The Lone Ranger

TheLoneRanger2013PosterJohnny Depp… Why do you keep showing up here? You are a genuinely talented actor. I’ve seen you in good stuff, I know this. What in God’s name made you think that taking this movie was a good idea? Please, I want to know. Did you owe someone money? Did a kid just really want to see you in red face? What is it? Seriously… Your fans, they want to help.

All joking aside, this film is fucking terrible. I would love to meet the person who actually thought that The Lone Ranger in 2013 would make money. Better yet… I would love to meet the person who thought Johnny Depp’s Tonto and His Sidekick The Lone Ranger was going to make money. Because that person is on a whole other level of stupid, that I have yet to come across in my 23 years on this planet. Yes, The Lone Ranger is a classic and yes I can actually see a movie being made about him in this time. However if you honestly think that just by throwing in Johnny Depp doing what Johnny Depp does, is going to be enough for your shitty shitty western to even come close to the ABSURD 215-250 MILLION dollar budget this thing had… My God… A monkey could do a better job than you sir. Please… Give us the monkey! Continue reading “Tanner Reviews The Lone Ranger”