Tag: Twilight

5 Mistakes Most Young Adult Movies Make

The_Maze_Runner_poster.jpgI know, already, that I am going to get some shit for this list. Fans of the young adult genre, both movies and books, cling tightly to their fandoms and will tear the throats out of anyone who disagrees with them or challenges them. I fear that once this post is up and on my website that I am going to have angry people spanning from 14-23 ready to burn down my house and steal my kittens. But no matter the consequences, this is something that has been a long time coming.

Young Adult movies have had a huge surgance since the mid 2000’s. Before someone corrects me to tell me they have been around before then, I am well aware that the genre has been around for decades. However, with Harry Potter and Twilight came a massive wave of young adult movies and more popular books that has been in the forefront of the movie industry for some time. While the movies have waned in popularity over the years, they certainly hold a strong following of people who will see them and fight anyone who says bad things about them to their last breath. While the genre has certainly  been a rollercoaster from the acclaimed Harry Potter franchise to the dregs of horrendousness that was The Host, there are certain mistakes that this movie genre continues to make that cannot be ignored. So with that being said, this list is to commemorate 5 mistakes that the majority of Young Adult Movie Adaptations continue to make.

I should stress a few ground rules. First off, I will primarily be focusing on young adult book to movie adaptations. Second, I do not deny that some of these mistakes have permeated to other movie genres. Some of these things can be found outside the young adult spectrum. What I am saying is that young adult movies are the worst culprits of this. Third, I am NOT saying that young adult movies are bad!!! I want to make that perfectly clear. There are some out there that I like. I am not making a blanket statement! With that said, let’s get going. Continue reading “5 Mistakes Most Young Adult Movies Make”

Top 4 Reasons Why We Need to Shut Up About Twilight

PLEASE STOP IT
PLEASE STOP IT

Guess what everyone? Twilight sucks. I have broken absolutely no new ground by saying that. In fact, by the time this is posted in 2014, the stick I used to womp the what used to be rotting carcass of a dead horse has been worn so thin that I can use it as a tooth pick. The once carcass of said dead horse has also been reduced to little more than a gelatinous pile of festering organs and bruised skin. It is to the point now that it is just an accepted fact of life to the point that anyone with a differing opinion on the matter is chastised into oblivion. Believe me, I am not the person who is going to pick up that torch, jump on my high horse, and defend the series. No, I have made it clear in my review of The Host that I believe the series is very bad and I just like all of you reading this article can list with me all the reasons why Twilight is a bad series. But! For the love of all that is good and decent in this world if I see one more stupid picture that says ‘Still a Better love story than Twilight’, I am going to lose my calm.

If nobody else will say it, than please let me be the one to say it. We get it, we understand. Twilight sucks, a llama making love to a grapefruit is a better love story, you won internet. You can go home now. But what kind of person would I be to just leave it there? Allow me to count the ways on why we need to let this series die.

Before we get started, please keep in mind this is my personal opinion. If you have a differing opinion, please leave them in the comments. Also, keep in mind I AM NOT DEFENDING THE SERIES! If I were to score the movies on my regular scale then they would fall into the 0.5 – 2 area, dependent upon each movie. I do not think the series is a good series, I personally do not enjoy the story. It is not my cup of tea. With that in mind, let’s get to the list. Continue reading “Top 4 Reasons Why We Need to Shut Up About Twilight”

Tanner Reviews The Host

220px-The_Host_PosterOh God… Oh God, why? To say I am not a fan of Stephenie Meyer would be a moot point at this junction. I am not her target audience, I have never liked her stuff, and if you do that is cool. But it isn’t for me. The Twilight “Saga” is a terrible movie series (I haven’t read the books so I cannot comment on them)… but I can see the appeal of the film towards its target audience. It has its fan base built in and at the very worst if you are forced to watch it, you can at least enjoy actors like Michael Sheen and the guy who plays Mustache Dad just ham it up on screen or take comfort in the fact that Robert Pattinson is in a whole different level of hell while he is on screen since he has gone on record several times saying that he hates the film series with a burning passion.

But The Host… I just cannot fathom what Meyer was thinking when she created this story or what the creators of this film were thinking when they made it. I do not know how anyone, even in the target audience can find anything remotely enjoyable about this movie. This movie… This movie really is something special. This is Battlefield Earth level of bad movies. This is The Last Airbender level of bad movie… This movie is just god awful on every single level of film making imaginable. I find it hard as a critic to review this film, because the sheer thought of its existence feels me with regret that I actually sat through it. Continue reading “Tanner Reviews The Host”